Dealing with Absences

This is going to be the hardest post I have written to date, my Abuela passed away this morning. I was planning and preparing for this day, but nothing can really help you let go of a loved one. So I will tell you my plans to have her at my wedding in spirit. Let me first start by saying I am not well acquainted with my paternal grandparents, who are also deceased, but I am intimately familiar with mis Abuelos. Who are now in a better place. My Abeula was a kind Catholic woman who behaved more like a Buddhist in every way.

She and my Abuelo were my inspiration to do things, to be better, and most importantly- speak Spanish. I say this because I am able to talk to 80% of my patients in their native tongue. Which is considered a must in Cuban culture. I am proud to tell my pediatric patients who speak English when their parents are talking to me in Spanish that yes, their mother is right- they should learn to speak both. Not just because it will bring with it more job opportunities and more accessibility, but because it is their culture and heritage. I had always known hoped our future children would be able to meet their Great Abuelos, but this is no longer in the cards.

So due to my Abuela's failing health I made an executive decision regarding the flowers. Let me explain that I just thought due to her health she would not be able to fly out to Arizona to attend the wedding. Now unfortunately, or fortunately because she is no longer suffering, that decision will be the happiest part of our wedding. Of course excluding the becoming man and wife. My Abuela's name is Jacinta, translated into English it means Hyacinth. So amongst my beautiful and trendy shades of pink/coral/burgundy Dahlias and Garden Roses will be stark white Hyacinths.

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How are you incorporating absent guests into your wedding plans?